Adventures of Lil V

An Open Letter to My Firstborn: My Heart Breaks When You’re Sick

This is an open letter to you my dear baby Vera. I’m telling you why staying at home with mummy is not always for the best reasons…

mum open letter to child my heart breaks when you are sick
My cheeky mini Me at 33 months, and out of a viral episode. Here’s my letter to my dear daughter when you were sick.

Dear Vera,

It’s been yet another two weeks that you’ve had to miss school.

I know it’s fun to be at home with mummy and Leroy, but you’re home because you need to.

On so many occasions, you’ve shared that you’d like to go to school while you were homebound. You’ve been telling me about your friends, Kyrana, Ryan, Xinyi. I’m sure they’re missing you too.

No doubt that cabin fever has hit you. Mummy, too, to be honest. Who likes staying at home all day long for most of the week? Not an active toddler, that’s for sure.

mum open letter to child my heart breaks when you are sick
We get up to some filter fun at home while you recuperate at home. You love asking for the flowers and dogs so we could laugh at ourselves! :P

As much as I love to spend time with you, it breaks my heart because you’re home not by choice, but because you’re unwell. Even the playground is out of bounds, and it’s hard for you to understand why.

So I’m writing this open letter to my dear daughter when you were sick.

Seeing you cough so hard agonises me. In the dead of the night, mummy can hear your struggles and cries although I’m just next door. Mummy wished that I could comfort you, hold you tight and chase those darn balls of phlegm away… But I’m sorry… Sorry that I’ve to pretend not to hear your pleas of wanting me by your side. Those dreary wails of “I want mummy” sends waves of guilt every single time. Thankfully, daddy has been your support at night but deep down, I wish I could split myself to be with you when you need me most.

mum open letter to child my heart breaks when you are sick
That’s you, sweetie… tired after school and going through the Tuina sessions. Thankfully you enjoy them! Good girl :)

Remember the massages you enjoyed (that’s Tuina, my dear), and even fell asleep a couple of times? That was our alternative to medicine, and putting our hope on Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) because so many friends had their kids as good as new after seeking treatment. We took you there before the cough started, and then it evolved, so we went there for three consecutive days (and we became known faces there, oh my!), and drank some herbal stuff. Unfortunately, your phlegm evolved and things took a turn.

And then I felt like a horrible mum for not taking you straight to the paediatrician and caused the virus to attack your lungs and resulted in an infection. #damnvirus

Mummy cannot emphasise how important it is to be in the pink of health. And to build your immunity is a continuous challenge. Each time, you’re unwell, that invisible cloak of protection becomes torn and tattered, and the mending starts all over again.

I’m sure you know mummy loves whipping up home-cooked meals for you to ensure you enjoy balanced and healthy meals. Luckily, you’re such a foodie like me, always accepting my noob recipes. Eating a rainbow diet is one of the ways to keep our immune systems happy, as mummy shared about the 5 easy ways to supercharge a baby’s immune system.

Breakfast is an important start to the day, and there are days you’d have very little. I’m so proud of you that you now love oats with blueberries, although I know you’d rather have cake. Fruit, cheese and yoghurt with Chia seeds are some of your fave snacks, as we continue to be disciplined in keeping away unnecessary tidbits.

mum open letter to child my heart breaks when you are sick
Mummy loves to see you chomping away on your food like a true blue gourmand. Watching you eat makes the food seem extra yummy!

Except for the occasional phases of wanting to pick out veggies or even, meat or fish, it’s been a joy to see you slurp up a wide variety of coloured vegetables, different meats, all done in a range of cooking styles. I’m sure you already know mummy enjoys putting together nutritious food for you with all these easy yet healthy recipes that I’ve chronicled so far.

Well, except when you’re sick and appetite is poor, that’s when we know you’re having it tough… And that makes mummy sad too…

I hope with this open letter, you’ll understand why mummy tried very hard to make you eat even when you’re sick. Dear daughter, your body needs the nourishment to fight the bugs. Mummy had to do what needed to be done.

The fridge now has a dedicated section for medication, and that really is a reminder of how horrid it is to have a growing collection. We’ve cancelled plans on so many weekends because we had to stay home. Health is really more important than anything else, and we don’t like taking chances.

Sometimes, mummy wonders if sending you to childcare was a terrible decision which seems to be doing more harm than good. They say being exposed to germs help build immunity, but it crushes me every single time you’ve to call in sick.

As a working mum, I know it’s hard when there’s no support when parents are at work. Some kids continue to go to school despite being ill or on their route to recovery, and that starts the vicious cycle of bugs spreading. It takes a village to raise a child, no doubt, and a trusted support system is really important.

We’re thankful that mamak used to cook yummy meals for you when she cared for you. And to daddy, who has been investing in your health with probiotics and vitamins so that you’re as good as new every time you recover. Mummy really hopes you could nap more, so your body and mind get a good recharge they need daily. Being a professional nap striker is not really a good thing, my dear.

mum open letter to child my heart breaks when you are sick
Happy to be out of the woods, and we took a trip to the S.E.A. Aquarium to see the fish – and you kept telling daddy that you wanted to see more fish!

I hope that after you’ve read this open letter written to you when you were unwell, please don’t be upset with mummy. Every day we count our blessings to have you, and we are learning to nurture a healthy child. When you’re happy, mummy is happy too! And, what better way than to take you outdoors for fresh air and play, and seeing your cheeky grin – that makes everything so much better. Stay healthy and happy, my forever baby <3

Loving you in good times and bad,

This blog post is in collaboration with Friso. Kids learn from experiences whether big or small, good or bad. That’s why Friso provides the right nutrition for your child to be strong inside to take on challenges. To find out more, visit Friso’s website and follow Friso on Facebook and Instagram. #frisosg #frisoexperience #frisostronginside

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  1. Oh, those cries that they have just break our heart doesn’t it. I share the same guilt especially when I know they will soon be independent and won’t be crying out for us. Sigh, the dilemma of a parent.

    Glad that your girl is well now. :)

    1. Sorry for the incredibly late reply =x

      Oh yes, those waves of guilt can never be erased from our hearts and minds. I guess, this is the main struggle when we have more than 1 child. There will always be times we hope to be able to clone and split ourselves so we can attend to the kids at the same time…. But… it won’t ever happen, so we’ll just have to find a way that works….

      Hope your family is well and safe too, especially during this challenging COVID-19 season. Take care!

    1. Hello Yuna! Thousand apologies for the super late reply!

      My daughter has been on different brand of probiotics since she was much younger. She’s 7 this year.
      Our PD recommends Lacto-GG, Vivomaxx, and we’ve also bought probiotics from Watson’s, Guardian and Glovida. Some brands that they’re currently eating are Lacto Kids, Ocean Health Kids Probiotics and US Clinicals® StrongImmune™ Kids. Most of them are powder formats in sachets, while Ocean Health Kids and US Clinicals are chewable tablets.

      Hope this helps! Take good care too! :)

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